Unfinished Musical Read online



  Unfinished Musical

  From the mind of The Steve

  Copyright 2011

  A terrible day

  I wake up in the morning

  And get out of bed

  My brain full of ideas for the work day ahead

  I have my coffee, light, with flavored cream

  I exit my house and I’m full of steam

  Today is the day

  I will make it my own

  I will be ever so cheerful when I answer the phone

  I will be delightful and witty

  And courteous and kind

  And now matter what happens, I will not mind

  I love my job, its different each day

  Working at the 76th most popular theme park in the USA

  But then I pull into that parking lot

  And its like a scene from a war

  And suddenly

  I’m not so happy

  Anymore…..

  Cause

  It’s a terrible day

  A terrible day

  A I should have stayed in bed with a 5 dollar hooker and a bag of meth day

  It’s a terrible day

  A terrible day

  A I should have put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger day

  A terrible day

  Hi Jim

  Hi Pat

  Park attendance is 23000 today

  Really?

  Yeah, we only have half staff though….some sort of plague goin round

  Plague huh

  Oh and “the ICBM” is down again…poor people stuck upside down for over an hour

  Yeah, not as bad as that food poisoning going on over at “the Detroit café”

  What do people expect from a café named after Detroit.

  Hi Jim

  Hello Tanya

  Look Jim, I need you to work until 9 tonight ok.

  Its Monday, football night.

  Yeah well I have a jenny craig meeting.

  (mumbling) what you gonna eat her

  Excuse me?

  Its ok Tanya I’ll cover

  (suspiciously) good

  (walks to his counter and waves a guest over)

  Next

  (a large woman stomps up to him and slams her fists down on the counter)

  Can I help you?

  SOMEONE DONE GRABBED MA TITTIES!

  It’s a terrible day

  A terrible day

  One of those days you wish the germans had won the war so you would never have been born days

  It’s a terrible day

  A terrible day

  Oh why the hell didn’t my dad use a condom that night he got my mom drunk in the back of their Impala so I wouldn’t have to go through this terrible day!!

  This terrible day!

  This terrible day!!!!!!!!

  Vicodin

  You got troubles

  And you always whine

  About something or other

  And hey, that’s fine

  If you wanna go through life

  Bein a bitchy, complainin mess

  Then that’s your prerogative

  But I must confess

  That your dull and your dreary

  And no one gives a damn

  No one wants to hear it

  Not Pat, Tanya, or Dan

  But I can help, see

  I got that magic bullet

  So if you want the solution

  Grab your ear and pull it

  (spoken) take this

  (swallows pill)

  Cause

  A day without Vicodin

  Is like a day without the sun

  Its cold and its dreary

  And its never any fun

  Its mean and its callous

  And awful and cold

  Where everyone is fat

  And everyone is old

  And no woman will screw you

  And all the men have no hair

  So let Vicodin take you

  To that place where…….

  Everyone is nice

  And we all say HELLO

  And we’re all young forever

  Didn’t you know

  A day without Vicodin

  Is a day without love

  A day without blessings

  From heaven above

  So go ahead and take one

  Or two or three or four

  Cause ONCE you want one YOU WILL SURELY WANT MORE!!!!!

  Vicodin

  My Vicodin

  I love love love you Vicodin

  You the answer to my problems

  You’re the answer to my prayers

  You’re the solution to problems

  That

  Aren’t

  Even

  THERE!!!!

  (the vicodin dance)

  A day without Vicodin

  Is a day without the sun

  Its sad and its lonely

  And its never any fun

  A day without Vicodin

  Is a day without love

  It’s a day of unhappiness

  Where people push and shove

  A day without vicodin

  Is almost always bad

  A day without vicodin

  Is

  A

  Day

  Ive

  Never

  Had!!!!!

  Imagine I

  Imagine I

  Was that guy

  Who never left the seat up

  No, not I

  Imagine I

  Was that guy

  Who didn’t pass gas in bed

  And never wanted head

  Oh my

  Imagine I

  Imagine he

  Would be good to me

  Would never hassle me on my period

  And leave me be

  Imagine he

  Would say to me

  Honey, I don’t ever want to see you kiss another woman

  Oh gee

  Imagine he

  Imagine I

  Could be that guy

  Who would put up with all your moods

  And never ask why

  Oh my

  Imagine I

  Could be that guy

  Who finally made you have an orgasm

  Oh so sly

  I am that guy

  Imagine he

  Would give it to me

  Every position nine times to Sunday

  That’d be sweet

  Imagine he

  Hit the lottery

  And bought me things that I didn’t need

  Oh neat

  Imagine he

  Imagine us

  Never making a fuss

  About what makes the other one happy

  It’s a matter of trust

  Imagine us

  A three ring circus

  With kids we would never admit we didn’t want

  Oh what a bust

  Imagine us

  Imagine us

  Imagine us

  Turkey leg blues

  Some folks like their hot dogs

  All wrapped in a bun

  Some people do swear

  That churros are fun

  Hot mustard pretzels

  Cotton candy surprise

  But when I’m hungry

  I just can’t disguise

  I got those turkey

  I got those turkey leg blues

  I got those turkey

  I got those turkey leg blues

  That big red meaty deliciousness

  Lord knows I can’t lose

  Some folks do say

  That burgers are king

  And folks I know

  Like da onion ring

  Tacos burritos

 
Sausage and eggs

  But what gets me the most

  Are those big fat legs

  Oh lord

  I got those turkey

  I got those turkey leg blues

  I got those turkey

  I got those turkey leg blues

  Lord do help me

  I aint got no excuse

  (harmonica blues solo thing)

  You can keep your fried chicken

  I aint got no time for that

  And you can keep your pulled pork

  With all of its fat

  When the hunger hits me

  I just cant explain

  I wish I could take a turkey leg

  AND STICK IT IN MY VEIN

  OH LORD

  I got the turkey

  I got the turkey leg blues

  I got the turkey

  I got the turkey leg blues

  Oh lord forgive me

  I aint got no excuse

  You’re a sinner Jimmy Rogers

  You’re a sinner Jimmy Rogers

  And you’re going straight to hell

  No matter how much you pray

  The Lord aint buying what you sell

  You done aint no good

  You been a heathen man

  The Angels aint takin you

  To the promised land

  You’re a sinner Jimmy Rogers

  Always up to things no good

  Like stealin your friends woman

  And eatin fatty foods

  You drink too much alcohol

  And smoke those big cigars

  By the time you in your grave

  Your lungs be black as tar

  You can try your prayin

  But it aint gonna do you good

  The Good Lord don’t hear you

  But the Devil he sho’ do

  (some sort of gospel music solo thing)

  You’re a sinner Jimmy Rogers

  Your soul is goin down

  Like all those unsavory characters

  You hang out with downtown

  Your lyin and your cussin

  That done sealed your fate

  And don’t think the Good Lord don’t see you

  When you masturbate

  You’re a sinner Jimmy Rogers

  And you’re going straight to hell

  No matter how much you prayin

  The Lord aint buyin what you sell

  You too far gone to save now

  So don’t even try

  When you dead and buried

  Aint no one here gonna cry

  Oh Lord have mercy!

  I wanna have your baby

  When I see you

  Sleepin so peacefully

  My love so dear

  What you mean to me

  I cuddle up next to you

  Being so quiet, so you can’t hear

  I snuggle up to your face

  And I whisper in your ear……………..

  OH YEAH OH YEAH

  I WANNA HAVE YO BABY

  OH YEAH OH YEAH

  I WANNA HAVE YO BABY NOW

  You can shower me in diamonds

  By Gucci or Dior

  You can buy me a Lamborghini

  And always be openin the door

  You can pour me French Champagne

  From a bottle of Don Perrigion

  But when we get to grinding

  You Better NOT put that thing on!!

  OH YEAH OH YEAH

  I WANNA HAVE YO BABY

  OH YEAH OH YEAH

  I WANNA HAVE YO BABY NOW

  OH YEAH OH YEAH

  I WANNA HAVE YO BABY

  OH YEAH OH YEAH

  I WANNA HAVE IT NOW

  Finicky picky picky

  I wanna go to Rome

  I wanna go to Monaco

  I wanna Paris home

  Buy me a Picasso

  It doesn’t mean that much

  But if you don’t put a bun in this oven

  I’ll get my panties in a bunch!

  OH YEAH OH YEAH

  I WANNA HAVE YO BABY

  OH YEAH OH YEAH

  I WANNA HAVE YO BABY NOW

  OH YEAH OH YEAH

  I WANNA HAVE YO BABY

  OH YEAH YEAH

  I WANNA HAVE YO BABY NOW

  Gimme a baby I want it now I don’t care who and I don’t care how

  Every other girl I know has a baby do you want me to be left out

  Gimme a baby that I can dress up and take and show about

  Gimme a baby before im an old grey and ugly hag

  Gimme a baby that I can wear like my Brand new Gucci bag

  OH YEAH OH YEAH

  I WANN HAVE YO BABY

  OH YEHA OH YEAH

  I WANNA HAVE YO BABY NOW

  (3x)

  If it’s gonna rain, it’s gonna rain on me

  If I had any luck

  It’d all be bad

  If I won a free tuxedo

  It’d probably be plaid

  If I found a million dollars

  You can sure as hell bet

  I’d immediately get hit by a bus

  And wouldn’t get to spend a red cent

  If I started coughing

  I bet a lung would come out

  If I found a therapist

  Guarantee he’d just whine and pout

  If I had a dog

  It’d run away

  And if I met the girl of my dreams

  Sure as hell she’d be gay!!!

  If it’s gonna rain

  Its gonna rain on me

  God sure has a sense of humor

  I wish he’d let me be

  It always rains on me

  A total downpour

  My wife is a drug dealer

  And my daughter’s a whore

  Rain rain go away

  And leave me alone

  Oh great

  Whats that sound?

  Yup, another broken bone!

  I wish

  I would get run over

  I wish

  I would get eaten by a shark

  I wish

  A cobra would bite my ass

  I wish

  I would run out of gas

  Right in front

  Of an oncoming speeding train

  That’s fast, wouldn’t feel any pain

  This is silly

  Why are you down on yourself

  Look on the bright side

  You could be someone else

  You could be

  Homeless and out on the street

  With no clothes

  No job and nothing to eat

  Bitch bitch bitch

  That’s all I ever hear you do

  Im about

  Ready to take my shoe

  And shove it

  So far up your ass

  That youll

  Walk like you have constant gas

  Ug

  If it’s gonna rain

  It’s gonna rain on me

  Wont someone somewhere

  Come and rescue me

  (spokek) looks like a downpour headed your way

  Maybe

  I dunno what I’m doin here anymore

  Its ok

  No, I mean it. Everything I write turns to junk

  You’re being too hard on yourself.

  Am I? My mind feels…so disorganized (lays down on couch)

  Sigh

  You don’t really believe Rome was built in a day

  Or that the best laid plans

  Can sometimes go in a different direction

  And you don’t really believe

  That those pills, will bring you satisfaction

  You can spend your life spinning your wheels

  In the mud soaked road

  Leading to your destiny

  Or you can lay your head

  Upon my shoulder

  Maybe you should come on home

  Maybe you never should have left

  Maybe you should j
ust pick up that phone

  Maybe you should let me love you to death

  Maybe I dunno why

  You can shut everyone out

  And build a wall

  3 miles high

  You can stand on your roof and shout

  Hey world

  What do you owe me

  You can hang your heart out to dry

  But when it rains

  It’ll just get wet again

  Maybe you should come on home

  Maybe you never should have left

  Maybe you should just pick up that phone

  Maybe you should let me love you to death

  Maybe I dunno why

  You can blame everyone

  For the things

  That only you did

  You can curse those who stayed with you

  When for youself, you ran away and hid

  You can say its me

  Blame it all on the one who loves you

  But that won’t make me go

  Because I’ve seen you, and only I know

  Maybe you should come on home

  Maybe you never should have left

  Maybe you should just pick up that phone

  Maybe you should let me love you to death

  Maybe I dunno why

  I luv u

  Well I love kitties

  And I love cats

  I love puppy dogs

  And I love bats

  I love so many things

  I admit this is true

  But the thing I love most

  Has got to be you!

  Oh

  I love how you walk

  I love how you run

  I love how your hair shines

  In the golden sun

  I love how you tickle me

  Ha ha right there

  And I love how you’ll stay with me

  Anytime anywhere

  Oh I must admit

  I love pro rasslin

  And Monday night football

  And drinkin tonic and gin

  But I’ll watch Lifetime

  When you’re movie’s on

  And I’ll even shut up

  When American Idol is on

  Oh

  I love how you cook

  And I love how you drive

  I love how you make me feel

  So darn alive

  I love how you laugh

  At all my stupid jokes

  And I love how you don’t complain

  When we have to visit my folks

  I loved you in 3rd grade

  And I loved you in 5th

  I loved you in high school

  You’re the only one I was with

  I loved you in college

  And someday I say

  I’ll love you

  When we’re both old and grey

  Oh

  I love how you walk

  And I love how you run

  I love how your hair shines

  In the golden sun

  I love you forever

  You’re my triple overtime

  I love you my dearest

  I’m so glad that you’re all mine.

  Ain’t got no

  Ain’t got no springtime

  Ain’t got no flowers in bloom

  Ain’t got no summer

  Ain’t got no weddin in June

  Ain’t got no autumn

  Ain’t got no leaves to fall

  Ain’t got no winter

  Ain’t got no snow at all

  It’s the season

  The season for the blues

  It’s the season

  The season for the blues

  Pack up your bags